Quarantined

During this awful time I can’t stop myself from thinking if this will be the limit to the experiences I’m gonna have. 

Will I never have a first kiss? 

Will I never experience a hug from my best friends again? 

Will I never make physical connections again? 

Almost every morning I wake up with a thought, a hope that maybe, just maybe they’ve found a cure. 

I think about the places that I could’ve visited. 

The Eiffel Tower in Paris, The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. 

Would I never be able to discover new places?

Travel to Australia, New York. 

All these thoughts keep me occupied during the days whereas at night, it dawns upon me that I can’t even meet my friends down the street, then it hits. 

Every night, tears fall down on my cheeks. 

I think about all the memories I’d already made and miss the people I’d made them with. 

Now all I have are pictures, calls and texts.

I miss the hugs. 

I miss seeing them smile when I crack a bad joke, I miss holding their hands, I miss them. 

I often think to myself how I can help the situation. 

I can be positive and on most days I try, by being productive and keeping myself occupied but on other days I see myself failing to do so.

Long nights, sleeping at 4am,  getting up at 12pm. 

Feeling like I’m losing myself. 

I wonder if I’ll ever see them again. 

If I’ll ever get to experience it all again, if I’ll ever get to make new memories again. 

They say that one should never lose hope and that there’s always a light at the end of the dark tunnel. 

I hope I see it soon. 

I hope we all do.